Building Respectful Families (BRF) provides free, integrated support to families where children and young people are exhibiting unhealthy behaviours in their relationship with their caregivers. This is sometimes referred to as Child and Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse (CAPVA).
We help families find solutions to end unsafe and harmful behaviours and repair their relationships. The team provides training and consultation to professionals about the nature, prevalence and impact of this issue. We accept referrals from professionals and from families.
BRF is suitable for children and young people aged 8 to 18 and their caregiver/s. Support is appropriate for families who are ready for recovery-focussed work and where both parties are motivated to make changes.
| BRF referral criteria | Common reasons why referrals are not accepted |
|---|---|
| The child’s needs could best be met through BRF support | Behaviours are likely to be rooted in past experience/s, for which the child has not received support |
| It is appropriate to work with the child to address their behaviours and engage them in a behaviour change approach | Behaviours appear to be mostly attributable to neurological difference and could be better addressed through alternative specialist support for the family |
| Harmful behaviours are primarily directed towards the caregiver | Behaviours are happening across all settings, directed towards multiple people |
| There is a pattern of harmful behaviours (6 months+) | There has been a ‘one off’ incident, or behaviours have only recently started happening |
| It is the optimal time for recovery-focused work for the family | Child is experiencing ongoing victimisation (crime or abuse) or child’s behaviours are deemed high risk, meaning safeguarding responses are required from other services |
| All family members are motivated to contribute to positive change and have explicitly consented | Child and caregiver have not explicitly consented to the BRF referral, or clearly expressed a motivation to undertake the work required to affect change |
| BRF works with children aged 8 to 18 years old within Buckinghamshire, Berkshire or Oxfordshire. | |
The BRF team provides training and case consultation to professionals. This is suitable for all those who work with children, young people and families, or those looking to further their knowledge of this issue and improve their confidence when supporting families affected by this issue.
We start by gathering information from the referrer and the family, taking time to understand what is happening, individual needs and what they are looking for from support. All families referred to BRF are offered information, guidance and signposting and help is available to families through our advocacy support.
For those families who are ready to work together to find solutions, we support children and young people, alongside their caregiver, through group-work and one-to-one sessions of support. Our skilled practitioners take time to build relationships with families, by listening and seeking to understand what is happening from the perspectives of each family member.
We meet with children and their caregivers separately for one-to-one sessions. We also have online groups for BRF caregivers which run over six weeks. We have family activity days three times a year, which involve a chance to meet new people in similar situations and take part in family group activities.
All our support is tailored to meet the needs of individuals, and we will try to make it as accessible as possible. If we think we are not best placed to help a family, we will explain this clearly and offer information and signpost to other organisations.
Adopting a non-judgemental approach, we create safe spaces for family members to reflect and talk about the impact of what is happening. Practitioners use supportive challenge to address behaviours, without blame. Working in partnership with families, we know families are the experts in their own lives and we encourage them to identify their own solutions which will make a lasting positive difference.
In sessions practitioners use a range of tools and strategies from our BRF intervention, which we have developed from our work with families over the last ten years. Session topics include emotions, behaviours and communication tools. Practitioners facilitate restorative conversations between family members to help reflection and support families to repair harm in their relationships.
If you know a family who you think might benefit from support, read our guide – A professionals guide for making referrals.
If you would like to talk to one of the team to get support for yourself, or someone you know, please complete an enquiry form on the website or email brf@safesupport.org.uk.
Funders
Building Respectful Families is funded through the Reaching Communities grant from the National Lottery and the Masonic Charitable Foundation.
